As humans, we feel the need to share our lives with a partner. Relationships provide us with the opportunity to discover more about ourselves. Your loved one holds up a mirror, and you learn more about who you are. Relationships bring us self-awareness.

In my life, I’ve had several valuable love relationships that brought me a lot of growth and awareness. Some relationships were brief, and others were longer. However, for me, it’s not so much about the duration of a relationship but rather about the quality.

After five years of embracing the single life, I find myself at a juncture where the time feels right to embark on a new relationship. However, my yearning extends beyond a conventional love affair; rather, I seek a profound connection—a sacred relationship, as referred to in ‘A Course in Miracles.’ In such a relationship, both partners elevate their connection to a higher plane.

This exploration seeks to define the qualities that constitute a sacred relationship, focusing on the presence of God within this union. Here are seven essential qualities:

1) Wholeness/Completeness

• Insight: God is whole/complete.
• Affirmation: I am whole/complete!

A sacred relationship is anchored in the awareness and experience of wholeness. Unlike relationships that arise from a sense of lack, partners in a sacred relationship don’t seek fulfillment from each other. They recognize their completeness independently.

In realizing their oneness with God, both partners become aware that they are extensions of source energy—complete, holy, and divine.

Key Intention: The genuine purpose of a sacred love relationship lies in recognizing the divine in each other and aiding in the remembrance of our true selves.

2) Joyfulness

• Insight: God is joy, bliss, ecstasy.
• Affirmation: I am Joy!

Connecting with God evokes feelings of bliss and joy. In a sacred relationship, partners bring this joy into every aspect of their lives, realizing that joy multiplies when shared. The shared experience of joy becomes a dance that enriches their journey together.

The Dance of Joy in My Life: What does this dance of joy look like for me? Together we practice yoga, swim in the sea, sleep under the stars, hike mountains, dance the five rhythms, pick blueberries, take a dip in running water, pick edible plants, look for shells, travel to eco-communities, garden in permaculture projects, drink smoothies, eat raw chocolate, walk barefoot, kiss & make love, sing, play the guitar, visit friends, grow spiritually, camp in the great outdoors, go on pilgrimages or long bike rides, live in harmony with nature, help people feel good, cuddle under a warm blanket, and talk with each other until late in the evening… And this dance of joy goes on and on.

3) Freedom

• Insight: God is Freedom.
• Affirmation: I am Free!

From my perspective, most love relationships do not involve true love. I believe many people fall into attachment. People become attached to each other and to the security and comfort a relationship brings. To secure the relationship, they come up with restrictive rules. These rules limit freedom. There are many rules or assumptions born out of fear that dictate what you can and cannot do in the relationship. However, if you genuinely love someone, you don’t want to restrict your partner. You grant your partner complete freedom.

Love is freedom. In a sacred relationship, the natural consequence of this freedom is that you actually come closer to each other. You feel free and happy to choose each other over and over again.

If the relationship still ends because your partner feels that another path brings more happiness, you don’t feel disappointment. You feel love. In love, you don’t possess each other; you grant complete freedom. Love is letting go. You love the other so much that you forget your own small ego. Even if your partner chooses someone else or leaves, the love in your heart remains. The feeling of love has no end.

4) Pure Love

• Insight: God is Love.
• Affirmation: I am Love!

As individuals turn inward, they discover the pure love they always sought in external sources. In a sacred relationship, partners support each other in expressing this pure love, creating an environment where miracles & magic can happen.

5) Being & Presence

• Insight: God is Silence.
• Affirmation: I am.

The beauty of just being together in silence is a hallmark of a sacred relationship. The presence of God is felt without the need to fill the space with life’s distractions, creating a profound connection.

6) Awareness

• Insight: God is Awareness.
• Affirmation: I am Awareness!

Relationships serve as mirrors, reflecting our true selves. In a sacred relationship, partners bring awareness into every aspect of their lives, fostering self-discovery and growth.

7) Truth

• Insight: God is Truth.
• Affirmation: I am Truth!

Both partners choose to live in truth, discerning it from illusion. The expression of truth becomes the purpose of their existence, grounding the relationship in authenticity.

In contemplating these qualities, one realizes that a sacred relationship is not merely a connection between two individuals; it is a transformative journey where the divine is not only acknowledged but actively brought into every aspect of the shared experience.